The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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