He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
