i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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