Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize