is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
