How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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