Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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