there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
