I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
