then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
