Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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