Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
