if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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