So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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