It was confusing and full of hummus
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
