i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize
