Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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