Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize