What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
