Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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