I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
