the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
