I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
