you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
