I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize