She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
