Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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