So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
