Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
