You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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