Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
