Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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