If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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