why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
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