guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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