On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
