if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
