she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i drank out of a bidet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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