i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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