when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
