If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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