is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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