Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize