anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
