Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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