Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
