What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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