so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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