I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
