In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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