Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
