My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize