Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
