GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
