Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
