i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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