Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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