Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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