so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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