she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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