Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
