She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
