tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
