Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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